Rejection Quests
A subtle reframe that makes getting rejected a bit more tolerable.
I have a quest for you if you choose to accept it.
I struggle when I get rejected. It feels horrible and that feeling leads me to try to hide and not go after the things I want. I try to protect myself from the feeling of being rejected, the feeling that I am not good enough.
Yet, I know inherently I am good enough, but sometimes I am just not the right fit for an opportunity. But, it took many years to build the confidence to believe in myself enough to know that.
Going on “rejection quests” has helped.
I’ve gone on rejection quests in many areas of my life:
Applied to law schools
Applied to countless speaking engagements
Applied to student organizations
Applied to leadership positions in my advocacy work
Applied to marketing opportunities
Applied for a TEDx talk
Asked people I think are really cool to meet for coffee or get on a Zoom
Plus many more.
The Rejection Quest
The Quest: Your aim is to get rejected. To apply to something that you want to get and get a response. If you do get rejected you have completed the quest and get a reward, if you did not get rejected you failed the quest. (Hopefully, then you have gotten the opportunity you wanted). So, if you did not get rejected, try again.
Three rules to consider:
You must be reasonably qualified for the opportunity. For example, you do not have to meet 100% of the requirements of the job listing, but if it requires you to be on your feet all day and you know you cannot or would not like doing that, then you may not be reasonably qualified for the opportunity. Do not set yourself up for failure, that beats the whole point.
Start small. The purpose of this quest is to get through the mindset blocks that are stopping you from asking for the opportunities that you desire. Get creative with your asks. Maybe it’s just asking a new friend to the movies or asking your boss for a small adjustment at your workplace.
Try to set yourself up to enjoy the process of applying for opportunities as much as possible. Put on some nice music or grab your favorite snack. It’s scary to try something new, but remember we are all just humans trying our best in a world that was not made for most of us to thrive.
Objectives
Find an opportunity you are interested in
Apply for that opportunity
Wait for a reply
If you have not heard back in (insert however long feels right for your opportunity) then you can call that a rejection.
If you are rejected from that opportunity reward yourself!
If you are not rejected… well you’ve failed this quest, but you got the opportunity. So, it’s a win-win.
Repeat as often as you want to build up the skill of getting rejected.
I wish you luck!
All the very best,
Sierra